Return of the Were-Rabbit* [Dutch Dwarf Lop]

Rabbits are very cute, I suppose, although skinny - when I handle a rabbit it always reminds me of a velvet pouch full of bones - but they have ferociously efficient teeth. I haven't been fully bitten, only nipped, but having seen what they can do to thin aluminium sheet and copper wiring, I don't want to have those chisel teeth anywhere near my flesh.

My daughters have for years had two pet rabbits at any one time (in rotation - one of the first pair had to be replaced as too aggressive, another disappeared overnight probably to sustain some nocturnal predator, and two died) and they had occasionally been allowed in the house. She Who Must Be Obeyed likes the idea of "house rabbits". I let this happen assuming that at least the poop would be cleaned up - not always the case, unfortunately - but I stopped it after discovering that the new sofa was ripped and the Christmas lights and my computer power supply lead had both been sliced into several parts by rabbity dentition. The power was on at the time, yet the perpetrator was unharmed. Maybe their teeth are made of a ceramic non-conductor.

Our first pair

Anyway, after an interval long enough for me to forget the above incident, Bagel - one of the current pair - was found demonstrating rigor mortis one day. The pair were well bonded and it was clear that the survivor Thumper would pine after his departed friend during the night, and the weather was cold with no cosy partner to snuggle up to. So my elder daughter decided that she would take him into her bedroom overnight until either a new partner was found or he was re-homed. I thought little about this as she is now old enough to deal with things like animal care. Or so I thought.

After a couple of weeks, one day when I eventually surfaced from my bed I was informed that there had been a power cut for several hours. On investigating I discovered that the 'power cut' was restricted to our own house, and no-one had thought to check the fusebox. In fact, the main safety RCD had tripped and resetting it restored the power immediately. A few days later it happened again, this time taking out the RCD and the Miniature Circuit Breaker protecting the mains power outlets. Resetting both restored power again, and I checked every item connected to the mains circuit downstairs but could find no problem. The next time it occurred I found that on resetting the trips they immediately dropped out again (but intermittently) and I spent the next two hours carefully inspecting every outlet in the house and its associated loads.

The fault, when finally revealed, was horrifying. In my daughter's bedroom, she had  a four-way power extension plugged into the wall outlet and had routed the cable under her desk, round the back of her high bunk bed and up to her bedside cupboard to supply lights and phone charger. She had created a curtained-off "den" under her bed into which she used to retreat to read in privacy, and she had lined the den with spare bedding and pillows and a bookcase. When I looked into the den I discovered that she had been using it as a rabbit hutch for Thumper , and she had not been cleaning up the rabbit poop and uneaten food. The bedding and carpet were soaked with urine. There were shredded books in evidence, and on lifting the bedding I found that the extension cable had been extensively stripped - all three wires were bared and had been sparking together. How a fire was avoided I shall never know. Even though the short circuits had tripped the MCB, the sparking could have caused the bedding/paper to smoulder and burn undetected.

Rabbit food?

The damaged wiring was removed and repaired but I kept it back until the room had been fully cleaned by my daughter and inspected for approval by parents. Needless to say, the rabbit was banished back to its usual accommodation and is now awaiting return to Rabbits 'r' Us to await a new owner.

This is posted as a cautionary tale, because we were lucky to escape more serious consequences (as was the rabbit). I have found that rabbits are able to bite through most materials and ours stripped out the carefully-fitted insulation in their hut and did considerable damage to the woodwork. They also kept digging tunnels under the fences, and undermined the foundation of our garden shed twice. Rabbit poop is relatively innocuous but is unpleasant when it is allowed to build up to six inches deep. During their stay ours have also seriously damaged a new sofa and several cushions, pillows and towels - plus the various electrical and other items. To add a final sting, when we contacted Rabbits 'r' Us to arrange his re-homing, they insisted on his having his immunisation renewed at our expense (and expensive it certainly was). All in all - I do generally love animals and the rabbits were cute, but I shall be heartily glad to see the back of them. We had a lovely cat but she had to go as my wife is allergic to the fur. We still support a dog, two goldfish and a horse; and my wife wants to keep chickens again...

[Names have been changed to protect the guilty]
  * With grateful acknowledgement to ©Aardman